We got a form from Alexis' preschool saying that they do free eye screenings. I decided to sign the permission slip and let her get the screening. About a month after the screening her teacher talked to me while I was helping out for her Halloween party and told me that she didn't pass the screening and needed to see an eye doctor. In all honesty, I thought it was no big deal and truly thought that she was messing around during the exam and they weren't able to get an accurate test. I told Cory and he got her an appointment with the eye doctor in Windsor (who is awesome by the way!) The day came for her actual eye exam and she did great! She wasn't scared at all and did everything the doctor asked of her. The test seemed to go on forever. I thought that was a good sign, that maybe the doctor kept going because he couldn't find anything wrong and was just double checking.... I was wrong.
He turned and told me that she has severe astigmatism... my jaw dropped. You see, Cory and I both have 20/20 and have never had any issues with our eyesight, I had never expected anything to be wrong with hers. I didn't even know what an astigmatism was. He explained to me what it was, but in all honesty I wasn't listening. My mind started panicking. He told me that her right eye is perfectly fine, it's her left eye that has the severe astigmatism and that it could never be corrected. She also has 20/40 vision in that eye. He told me she would need glasses.
I asked him how she got it? He smiled at me and says it's something that happens during development, during pregnancy. I felt like I failed her.
The super sweet doctor walked us out to the front where all the glasses were and a lady came over to start the process of having her try them all on and to get a pair ordered. She tried on tons of glasses and was telling the lady which ones she liked and which ones she didn't. I wasn't paying attention at all. All I could see was my beautiful 3 year old wearing glasses! GLASSES! All I could think was that kids are cruel and they'll make fun of her, that those big blue eyes would be hidden, that I made a mistake while being pregnant. I failed her.
I told the lady that I needed to talk to my husband before purchasing any glasses. Really though, I just needed to get the heck out of there because I was about ready to burst out in tears. We got in the car and the tears came, and came and came and came. I got home and told Cory the news, he also was in shock. I cried hard. I went through every moment of my pregnancy in my head and would re-play it over and over. I drank that Dr. Pepper, I ate that Wendys, I didn't exercise enough...etc. Then Cory said to me "You know, there are so many children out there who are fighting for their life. Alexis has to get glasses. Tons of people wear glasses, it's not life-altering" And just like that I snapped out of it! Thank goodness for my husband. He always brings me back down to earth. Boy is he right. It could always be so much worse.
Now I feel so silly for getting so upset. People wear glasses all the time, it's a normal thing. If she gets made fun of for it, it'll give her thicker skin. Nothing could hide those big blue beautiful eyes. And I did the best I could while pregnant. These things just happen.
I researched astigmatism and learned what it was. After becoming educated on the subject I became so excited for her to get her glasses. It broke my heart that she could hardly see in her left eye and by simply wearing glasses she could see this gorgeous world we live in. It made me happy for her.
We went back later that night and I was in a much different place. I was ready for her to try on all those frames and pick some out. She loved the trying on process and we went with a hot pink metal frame that can bend like crazy! We also opted for the scratch free and glare free lenses. All with a 1 year warranty! She looked so stinkn' cute in those glasses I couldn't wait for them to come in.
A few weeks later they finally came in and I took her in again to get fitted for them. When we walked outside she immediately pointed to something far away and started yelling "look mommy look!" It was as if she was seeing things for the first time. It made me cry, tears of pure joy this time.
They told me it was going to be hard to keep them on her and that she would fight wearing them. But not for Alexis. She hasn't taken them off, except to go to bed. In fact, she's the one that reminds me that she needs to put them on. A few days after wearing them she grabs my hand and says "Thanks for my sunglasses mommy, my eyes are all better now!" I couldn't be more proud of her. She is so great.
